Wednesday, April 10, 2013

An Always Love


On route to those far southwest red hills

They remind me so of you, of your body, hot and

Drenched in that quick morning rain, steaming, your slow grin

Awakens over that curve of stone


My memory of Us asks me to sit

So I sit and what settles

Is the river flowing below in the red gorge

Rife with life

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Hozoji Geese

geese honk overhead
the sky a Mass of music....
then the mist takes them

I stand stunned, can't move
a tear slides over my smile
Beauty unbounded
Lift this man off of me, straight up and gone
Take him out of my mind
Pull him from the inside of me
Remove him, he’s Yours, I see now, though it was You who got us that Ring, and the full circle
But his love, only for himself, what did you expect of me, are You male too
His sweetest of weight, smashing me now, at what split moment did it change from bliss to fire
Lift him up, and soon, do not allow this taking, now rape
Your daughter did her inadequate best, love me now
Eradicate him from me, this She begs You
She cannot breathe but feels his Tantra breath push in
The One comes in, the One goes out
Lift him, take him, remove him from my lungs, my dreams
Do not charge me with his care another endless night, he who breathes fire for the schism
Take him, wash him in the blood of the lamb, that ancient medicine,
An eye for an eye, a lamb for a lamb
Make of him a whole man if ever he was, this tragic, beautiful, shattered son
Hear my prayer, hear my prayer
Lest we both be lost, and life itself concludes
The children I would bear for him, for You
Be never named, be never loved, be never.
Take him off of me!!  Take his desire to rest in Your own!!
I cannot bear it any longer, the fire shared for mercy
I gave him my best, for You
Will You arrest him, and me, dead or alive??!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

I was going to carry it
Did, and well, and do, while gone
The anger truly dissipated in understanding, knowledge
Only caring remains in the hobo’s hoist
Except this yearning for your extraordinary company
And even that I carry well, usually
When I do not do it well
That looks like Geese, overhead, trying to find their V
Honking in the greater cacophonous sky
But still moving forward to their promised landing
Knowledge.  Care.  Following Trust
And we’re there.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Black and White

You are like the Devil
How many names does that one have
Calculating     Charismatic     Cruel
Made up of only what he desires

I’ve been crazed in love with you devil man
But I’ll not be in league with you again, I see
Coyote gone mad
Chasing your own tail
Tragic, beautiful life

Coyote was a pup once, I saw him then
Silky wiggly sweet, constant kisses from that little wild tongue
Ah the dear prankster, clever beyond a pup’s years,
The element of surprise his cunning
Eyes that held a more mature mystery, hard to look in them, yellow, and way out there
But when this pup would kiss my face then scamper away
Who cared, or took heed from those eyes
So dear was he.

I cried harder than I’ve ever cried the week after I met you again, years later
Full grown, and completely stunning, brilliant genius
Realizing I was going to die with this love, with somebody like you in your black and whites
I sobbed uncontrollably, unable to walk away then
Wrote more than I’ve ever written, the good stuff
Yes, I was a lost soul there for a bit; the crazed artist, alongside you
Interesting to note though
I haven’t cried much since you embraced me firmly for the tossing
I didn’t know how far you’d hurled me till I was bashed
You bought me the ring of our hopes, full circle
Whispered your deepest prayer in my ear, that dark, amazing night

And the very next day you put on lovely music, special, just for me
And as you walked out the door, waving jauntily
“Send me your love” you said
“Do not write, do not call, you laughed
I could not breathe

Now I know where all your art went.
All your enchanted women…
But I have your wild Indian, on his journey
And I’m keeping it close with my prayer
I do send my love, my eyes are dry, but old now.
The other words I have for you are temporary, so unspoken
For it’s true—I do love you more than what I want from you

That meant “nothing” to your calloused broken heart
What happened to you growing up, when did the suffering begin?
Marry the next sweet pup, Old Coyote
But just cut her throat when you’re finished with her
Be kind.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

The Dance

The spin has begun, the churn
Always to the left, undoing, receiving
The lilt of a hand, tenderness, the touch of a toe
Thanks for connection
Staying current in the Continuum, focus, no focus
Intertwining circles of life, over and over
Falsehoods fly away in formation
The spray waters other worlds

Then stop.  Hands cut the sacred air with sudden, deliberate motion: Four Directions, Six, One
The center point of Center, balance is perfect.
Eyes, still muscling the spin, haywire.  What
Keeps us towing the line?  Certainty
The Heart knows.  The feet
Finding ground, planted.
The body between

Friday, November 23, 2012

The Last Play

Forgive my attraction to Your man
How can I find resistance—there is no footfall for reverse
I am not the one who directs the strings
For is it not Your Dream?   Your Name
Remains on my lips as I shudder my acquiescence
My eyelids slowly rise with the curtain
My heart thuds, right here, right here
Affirming my powerlessness as Your character
A bit part I was told, but really, are there any in You?
You are the Writer, and the Audience
The welcoming applause, answering my fervent sweat for comfort
The Yes of affirmation:  “Fear not, for I am with you!”,  You mouth the silent words
I’ll speak the lines then that I am given, have memorized, no prompting needed
And know it’s up to me to find the resonance that conjures faith
Then stride with confidence, deliberation,  from stage right to stage left,  my costume perfect
Pausing aglow at the front to join the male in this story, my love
I cannot change the lines, the choreography
I’m no longer fitful with false pretense of authorship
But I did pass the audition
So feats, carry me well, keep my head high, bright in the Light
I am Your earnest actress, and only then, the partner for Your actor, leading
The curtain fall will find us: Yours, bowing before You
The unison of that motion, the timing
Yet to be seen.